Months of Progress
4 months: That is how long I have gone without counting calories, purging, and having negative thoughts. Looking back on when I had those tendencies, I cannot even begin to think that I ever thought those things. I used to go drink milk or juice, because I didn’t want the “empty” calories. I used to limit my fruit intake because I didn’t want to go over my daily quota. Today, these things seem so silly. I need milk to be strong and having juice won’t hurt me. It won’t make me gain weight. If anything, if helps me.
I have gotten to the point where I counted calories once while I was working a lot to make sure that I was taking in enough fuel to sustain myself. It’s so awesome that it has come to that. That I can eat normally without feeling guilty. I can have that ice cream because I work out, maintain a healthy lifestyle and don’t need a huge bowl of it to satisfy my cravings. For anyone who has never experienced these thoughts, you probably don’t understand, but I cannot tell you how great it feels to know that I am in control of my body and my mind. So great!
7 months: I’ve been single for 7 months. I cannot tell you how amazing it feels to be able to just take care of myself for once. Yes, I get lonely sometimes, but it’s in those times when I look to God to give me patience and trust in Him. This time has shown me who I really am, what I really want and that I can be ok without having someone. I’m actually thriving.
I’ve accepted and forgiven myself for my past mistakes and know that God has forgiven me too. I still wish that I would’ve waited, but this is the life God gave me and the road I have chosen. Now I just have to pray that my future husband will love me regardless of my past. My heart has never been more pure than it is now and it keeps getting stronger and more pure with each day. I thank God for that.
So happy and blessed :)
(via truelovereallywaits)
My Beloved,
I want you to know that I’m waiting for you.
I can’t wait to meet you.
To see your eyes, to see your smile & to know about your life.
Wherever you are right now, what ever you’re doing, I’m praying for you.
The thought of you excites me.
I can’t wait to serve & pursue Christ along side with you.
I can’t wait to hold your hand, and just pray with you.
I promise you I will always play my guitar and I will sing you songs.
Whats even better, I can’t wait to worship along side with you with our voices.
I can’t wait to Love you, adore you, cherish you and take care of you.
I’m excited to know everything about you. Everything that makes YOU. Every single detail that makes you perfect for me. I know I will appreciate those things because it’s you.
I want to know what makes you happy, what makes you sad. What makes your day. Your favorite food, drink, music, movie,. Anything, and everything about you. So I can serve you, love you, and take care of you the best way I can.
I can’t wait to touch your face when you laugh, cry, make jokes, being silly.
I can’t wait to pray, fast, drink coffee, eat carelessly, watch movie, sleep in till we are both late for work, cooking together, make you breakfast in bed, you making me breakfast in bed, drive our first car, live in our first home, raise our own family, seeking God together as a family,
I can’t wait to experience trials & suffering with you, grow close together with God.
I can’t wait to hold you close to me at night. Till we fall asleep.
I can’t wait to give you my ALL, everything of me to you.
I can’t wait to lay myself down for you, just as Christ laid down His life for me.
I long and desire for you my beloved.
I can’t wait to meet you and spend the rest of my earthly days with you.
I can’t wait to love you.
I can’t wait to show you this letter in the future when we finally meet.
But for now, I want you to know.
I’m patiently waiting for you..
- Mark M.
ugh yes.
(via truelovereallywaits)
